#look at that ungodly amount of health

[not-your-lifeline]

my first stage 5 Fire Dragon takedown in RLcraft Dregora!

I dug him out but he began flying away to the other side, then back again. so I had to chase him all night running through the blighted mobs and armed bandits... overdosing myself on stash of Ambrosia to stay alive.

eventually he was low and did fall down to the ground, so I kept going even though my minigun ammo ran out. switching to AS50 Sniper Rifle instead while keeping my safe distance.

shame it was a male though! still It was a thrilling chase.

[mariathechosen1]

I love you drinking water I love you cold showers I love you sleep I love you fun dance exercises I love you taking time to make meals I love you skincare I love you morning stretches I love you talking to friends I love you endorphins

[yanderedrabbles]

I love the additional notes that yandere boyfriend/husband does! Anymore facts that he does during marriage life, aside from building cabinets and stuff?! 👏🥰🥳

Yandere Boyfriend - Husband Duties

He's secretly a total house husband. He'll spend an ungodly amount of time just attacking the house with a feather duster because he knows how you hate your sinuses acting up. And he does most of the cooking - he's a health nut after all and he needs to make sure his family is getting all their nutrients. Besides, there's something so intimate about feeding his wife with his own labour.

He's the type to bring you breakfast in bed almost every Sunday and hand feed you each bite, his pupils blown out with lust when you look up at him in that half lidded way.

He fixes everything. Light bulb burnt out? You won't even realise it because he's that quick to grab a ladder. Taps need new washers? Done. Kids want their rooms a new colour? Done before the end of the week. You want to rearrange the furniture? Just sit pretty and point at where you want the stuff to go.

He's a light sleeper so he's almost always the first one up if the kids start crying. Once you walked in on him with the newborn, cooing and begging the kid not to wake his wife because you've had a hard enough day.

At first, it feels strange seeing such a big guy holding a tiny little bundle in his paws. But he's so tender that sometimes all you can do is lean against the doorway and watch him.

He isn't the best with homework but he's a master at school projects. Once, he built a three foot bridge that actually lifted up to let little toy boats through.

When he talks to the kids about you, it's almost always my wife instead of your mother. In his mind, you'll always be his before anyone else's. And he loves the way it sounds - wife, wifey, his better half, finally all his.

He loves to play with the kids, but especially if you join him. He'll swing you up over his shoulder and tease the kids that he's stealing you away, they've gotten enough mum time today. And he'll grin when they hammer at his legs and demand he give you back. It's good to see the kids have just as much of a possessive streak as he does.

Honestly, he's set such a high standard that your daughters find almost every guy they date falls horribly short. And your son? Oh, he has to be the one to initiate break ups because no one who dates him wants to let him go - not when he's such a perfect partner.

"Where's mom? My wife is very busy right now actually."

[winterstelltales]

Toothache [zayne x dentist!reader]

word count: 1k content: fluff, toothaches, dentist!reader, established relationship notes: no proof reading

Despite him devouring sweets like he’s on a personal mission to bankrupt every candy store, Zayne usually did his best to take care of his oral hygiene. But even then, he couldn’t escape the fallout from all the sugar he inhaled.

Acrually his day was super awful. First, he had to wake up with a horrible toothache, then he had to drink his coffee without sugar. And the large banner placed outside his favorite café announcing the new sweets definitely wasn’t helping either. He almost had pulled over, but the constant ache on the side of his mouth had made him stop. 

The hospital staff was quick to notice his unusual silence. It wasn’t that he talked a lot, but still it was noticeable when he had been communicating with nothing but head nods and shakes all day. It was only Greyson who was brave enough to ask him what was going on. 

“Just a toothache,” Zayne had dismissed their concerns as he walked towards to the ward.

Zayne hoped the pain would fade away by the end of the day. 

His assistant stopped in his tracks, watching him walking out, “Didn't he just visit the dentist last week?” 

It didn’t.

So now he was reluctantly making an appointment to the dentist after his shift. His hand hovering over the call button, nervously recalling the warning he had gotten from a certain person a week ago.

It wasn’t that he was afraid to go the dentist, okay, maybe a bit, but the real reason behind his hesitation was his dentist—his lovely fiancé—who was actually very sweet and considerate... until he consumed ungodly amounts of sweets, despite her warnings, and somehow managed to get two toothaches a week apart.

“Good evening, you've reached Akso Dental Clinic. How may I assist you today?” the familiar voice of the receptionist drifted through the receiver.

“Hello Miss Chen, it’s Zayne,” he cleared his throat slightly, “I need to make an appointment, is she available?”

There’s a small silence on the other side, Zayne tapped his pen on the table, the soft sounds echoing in the quiet room.

“Dr. Zayne! Yes of course, you're in luck, there was a cancellation this afternoon,” the receptionist said cheerfully. "Would you like me to book you in for that time?”

“Yes please, thank you.”

He ends the call after confirming the time, his thumb coming up to rub the side of his cheek.

Soon enough the call he dreads comes in. The ringtone he had set specifically for you breaks the silence of his office. Yet a smile appears on his lips as he sees your face light up the screen.

“Are you serious?” was the first thing he hears when he answers the phone.

he thinks you sound like an angry kitten, the corners of his mouth quirks up as he speaks.

“About marrying you? Yes I am.” 

“You!” There’s a huff on the other side of the line, and he chuckles, “That’s not what I meant. What do you mean by another appointment? It hasn’t even been a week!”

“Actually it’s been—” 

“Stop right there mister, I swear you’re in deep trouble,” Zayne listens as you speak, imagining you walking around your office as you lecture him. 

It feels weirdly refreshing, the roles reversed, where he’s the one getting lectured about his health, and Zayne can't help but agree with everything you say. His heart warms at the sound of your voice, angry yet worried over him. 

“You better be here right on time, and don’t you dare consume even a single granule of sugar during that time,” you warned, your tone firm.

“Yes ma’am” Zayne nods, even though you can’t see.

The elevator ding as he arrives on your floor and the receptionist looks up almost immediately, a bright smile plastered on her lips as she opens her mouth to speak.

“You can go right in, Dr. Zayne,” She says, motioning towards the treatment room.

Zayne stops in front of the room, staring at your name displayed on the surface before knocking twice.

“Come in,” Your voice sounds muffled from the other side of the door.

Zayne steps into the bright room, the familiar sterile smell of antiseptic invading his nose almost immediately. His eyes settle on you, sitting on the chair wearing your pristine white coat. 

You raised your eyebrow at him, swiveling your chair so you can see him clearly, “Come and sit down.”

Zayne’s mouth twitched as he walked toward you. Seeing you so bossy and serious was a rare sight, and he wanted to savor every moment. It was amusing, to say the least. 

He didn’t realize he was staring at your face until you spoke.

He looked at the chair, looming in the middle of the room, looking too comfortable to be trusted, its cushioning is almost inviting, but he knew better. He laid down, eye squinting at the bright light pouring right down at him.

He saw your eyes softening and watched as you slightly adjusted the light away from his face.

“What?”

Zayne narrowed his eyes and glanced at the closed door, then grabbed your wrist, pulling you a bit closer.

“Is this doctor always rude to her patients?”

You scoffed, prying his fingers off your wrist and poked his cheek, making him hiss lightly.

“Only to the disobedient ones.”

You laughed softly as his lips formed a small pout. 

“Open your mouth, please,” you watched as he obediently did as you asked. During the next few minutes you carefully examined him, all the while trying hard to ignore his eyes glued to your face, following every one of your movements. 

“You don’t have to stare at me so intensely, you know," You said as you slowly took out the small metal mirror out of his mouth. Zayne stretched his jaw, trying to relieve the ache from having his mouth open for so long before replying, “What if I want to?”

He watched as a small flush crept up your neck, disappearing beneath your mask. You looked away, clearing your throat as you gathered your tools next to you.

“So what is it?” Zayne asked, eyeing the neatly arranged tray beside you.

“Well, it doesn’t look too bad, but I can tell your sweet tooth has been working overtime,” You answered him while giving him a pointed look, “The sensitivity you’re feeling is likely from overindulging in sugary treats, it’s just your enamel taking a hit.”

You spoke as you walked towards him again, “For now, I’ll apply a fluoride varnish to help protect your enamel and reduce sensitivity. Then we can have a chat about your sweet tooth after we get home.”

Zayne closed his eyes as you leaned over him, while a noise, suspiciously close to a whine, escaped his throat. 

“All done,” You gave a pat on his cheek, leaning back and signalling him to clean himself up.

Zayne rubbed his jaw with fingertips, straightening himself up on the chair. He watched as you walked back to your desk and cleaned up some files on it before removing and hanging your coat on the hanger. 

“You’re done for the day?”

“Yup,” You turn towards him as he throws his long legs to the side, sitting on the chair upright, “you’re my last patient.”

“Okay,” You smile softly, threading your fingers softly in his black strands before pulling his hair back, making him stare up at you, “but one condition.”

“I’m very lucky then,” Zayne says, extending his hand towards you. You grab his hand, and he immediately pulls you in, wrapping his arms snuggly around your waist. He buries his face in your stomach, breathing in before speaking in a muffled tone, “let me take you out tonight.”

“Hm?”

You lean closer to him and quickly flicks his forehead, “That’s your punishment, and no dessert,” you whisper before pecking his lips softly.

[draconic-desire]

A Dance With the Dragon III — Opera

Yandere Neuvillette x Reader

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III — You are here] [Part IV]

Neuvillette enjoys bringing you to the Opera Epiclese. You, not so much. The result; a clash of tides.

Warnings: Implied past NSFW, typical yandere tendencies and obsessive behavior

You had grown to loathe the opera.

When Neuvillette first suggested it, you had perked up immediately. You ignored his rare smile at your excitement, knowing he believed to use this as a stepping stone to winning you over. You didn’t care; the Chief Justice was delusional if he thought you wouldn’t abuse this opportunity to escape.

Your plan, of course, was a complete failure.

Neuvillette kept a firm, guiding hand on your lower back the entire night. Even the slightest movement on your part would earn you a warning glower. He wasn’t even challenging you to act out; no, he was demanding your compliance. Bastard.

And Archons, the stares you got for it.

You knew that Neuvillette had worked his way up to being a well-respected and renowned figure, but you never expected the fanbase he had acquired. He was barraged by women and men alike, all hoping for a chance to woo, interview, or befriend Fontaine’s Chief Justice. He responded to all of their inquiries with aplomb, though you noticed his grip on your waist tighten every time an individual would glance your way, whether out of curiosity or envy.

Standing off to the side, you swirled the champagne glass clasped in your hand, opting to remove yourself from the conversation. Honestly, you were shocked he had allowed you to indulge in any alcohol with his obsession over your health. Such regulations included eliminating certain foods from your diet (“Why would anyone ever eat food that’s been deep fried?”) and drinking an ungodly amount of water each day, usually with a long conversation about its flavors.

Oh, and the physical activity, too.

With a scowl, you tipped the flute back to imbibe the rest of the champagne. Maybe if you got drunk enough, you’d have some respite from both the spotlight and your memories with him. He already seized every moment of your reality; you didn’t need him plaguing your thoughts, too.

But luck was never on your side these days.

A particularly nosy group of women had been giving you the stink eye all night, until one of them strutted up to your “date”. Despite being multiple paces away, you could hear their entire conversation. She curtsied, batting her long lashes flirtatiously. “Good evening, Monsieur Neuvillette. I am Trudaine, daughter of the Duke of Romaritime Harbor. I’ve been meaning to approach you for some time now, for who could resist such a handsome and powerful man?”

You rolled your eyes and kept chugging as Neuvillette beckoned you towards him. Before he could answer, you reluctantly closed the distance between the two of you, feeling his hand caress your lower back. Trudaine sneered as she looked you up and down. “I must inquire, who is the lady you’ve brought as your accompaniment tonight?”

Neuvillette tipped his head politely. “Greetings, Lady Trudaine. While I appreciate your flattery, I must decline your advancements. You see, Lady (Y/n) here is my wife.”

You choked on your drink.

While Neuvillette rubbed your back in a concerned manner, believing you had simply had too much to drink, Trudaine’s lip curled in disgust. “Her, a Lady?” she barked in disbelief. “Come now, Monseiur. She’s clearly nothing but a commoner, and not even one from Fontaine.”

Neuvillette’s judgmental gaze flicked down to the woman with a dangerous flash. “Lady Trudaine, I suggest you take your leave before I lose my temper.”

The Judicator’s expression must have spooked her, for she quickly shut her mouth and scurried to the safety of her friend group, no doubt to continue the gossip about you.

“My dear, are you alright?”

You waved Neuvillette away, coughing up the last bit of alcohol. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” You placed the empty glass on a nearby table; alcohol had been ruined for you for the rest of the night. “Though I don’t recall accepting your proposal, husband.”

Neuvillette ran a gloved hand through his bangs. “Ah, forgive me. Your human customs sometimes elude me. If it is a ring you seek, I’m more than happy to oblige.”

You gaped at him. “You seriously think I’m upset because you didn’t buy me a damn ring?” You pressed yourself against his chest, jabbing a finger into his robes. Neuvillette sucked in a breath, marveling at the proximity. You were actually touching him. He didn’t care in what context; he could feel your warmth, sense your heartbeat in tandem with his own. It took every ounce of his might not to rip that dress off your form and bury himself inside you.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” you whispered so as not to draw attention, “I am not, and will never be, your wife. I do not, and will never, love you. You may think us a couple, or mates, or that what you feel for me is love, but you have seaweed for brains. You have taken everything from me—my freedom, my career, my family, my vision. You have forced yourself on me and molded me into some hollow version of myself.” You gestured to your attire, all lace and frills to replace your preferred pants, to emphasize your point. “Delude yourself all you want with titles like ‘wife’ and ‘dear’ and ‘mate’, but they are nothing but empty monikers.”

The enamored look on the Justice’s face only served to prove your point. Stretching his cane horizontally behind your back and cupping your chin with the other hand, he trapped you against his form. “All in good time, my darling. Rocks may appear unbreakable, but the sea erodes them all eventually.”

~*~

Then there was the most recent time he had taken you.

Neuvillette’s idea of a ‘compromise’ was to forgo the formalities of chit-chat for simply sitting in your (private balcony) seats until the opera began. This development saved you from the crowd, but at the cost of being alone to fend off his intimate touches. You practically snarled at him when his hand snaked up your thigh.

“Try that again in public and you’ll lose that hand.”

“Later, then.” He muttered the promise as the lights dimmed.

The opera’s plot centered on an ancient monster rescuing a sacrificed maiden. Instead of devouring her, the creature took her into his care, and their love led to the creation of the Melusines. You nearly throttled Neuvillette at the climax, when the maiden denounced the humans who sent her to die in favor of becoming an immortal with the creature. The so called “monster”, then, transformed into a handsome god of the sea.

As the curtains fell and the lights rose, you glimpsed his subtle smile. Standing abruptly from your seat, you moved towards the exit without sparing him another glance. “Don’t even fucking start.”

~*~

This time, however, you found an opportunity to turn the tables.

This time, Neuvillette had permitted you to mingle alone within the crowd in the Opera’s foyer prior to the show. Pointless chatter with the other opera goers was preferable to being alone with him, though you really knew that Neuvillette had agreed as a test of your loyalty. Although it seemed you could roam as you pleased, you knew the Iudex kept one eye on you at all times. A note slipped into a hand or a whisper for help into an ear would be detected immediately.

While you refrained from approaching others, that didn’t mean you could prevent others from approaching you.

Others like the exceptionally handsome individual striding towards you.

His azure irises soaked in your form as he ran a gloved hand through his fiery-toned hair. Once before you, he delivered a playful bow, lips pulled in a smirk. “Ah, and might I ask why a lady as stunning as yourself is standing by herself?”

You lowered the champagne glass from your lips, taking in the man’s appearance. Based on the thick fur coat slung over his shoulders and the single red earring flashing on his left ear, he certainly wasn’t from Fontaine, though he clearly possessed a good deal of wealth nonetheless.

Your eyes shifted towards the hydro vision on his hip. Your hand instinctively went to your neckline, where your own vision would have been. The only reason you hadn’t gone mad from its absence was because it was never truly far from you—that is to say, because Neuvillette was never far. Your heart ached, and somehow the fact that this man shared a hydro vision made you trust him. “And might I inquire as to who’s asking?”

The man offered you a coy smile. “Call me Tartaglia.”

Returning the smile, you sketched a brow cheekily. “That’s quite a unique name. You aren’t from around here, are you?”

“Am I really that easy to pin?” Tartaglia chuckled, blue eyes sparking mischievously. “Seems I’m losing my touch.”

“Not at all. If you ever need someone to get you acquainted with Fontaine, I’d be more than happy to oblige,” you shot back with a wink, your implications clear. Of course there was no world in which Neuvillette would ever let that happen, but you missed how fun it was to flirt—or just to even talk with—someone who wasn’t the Iudex. You’d take your fun when you could.

Tartaglia’s grin only grew at your suggestion. He offered you the second glass of champagne he held. “I noticed you might be needing another one of these, though really I just took whatever excuse I could to talk to you. Are you really here all by yourself?”

Before you could respond, your gaze subconsciously flicked around the room until it landed on the one who had brought you here. And it was then you noticed the Chief Justice glowering at you, his knuckles turning white around the goblet in his fist. The group of officials around him, though they kept prattling on, went completely ignored as his silver glare flicked between you and the mysterious redhead.

Oh, this would be good.

As Neuvillette excused himself from the conversation, your eyes met his own and a wry grin graced your lips. Blame it on the alcohol, but you were feeling bold and invincible. Like you were the one in power for once. Maybe that’s why, before Neuvillette could reach you, you leaned towards Tartaglia and purred, “It’s just you and me.”

Then you tilted your face up and kissed his cheek, the barest hint of your lips brushing against his porcelain skin. And yes, it was petty in every sense of the word, but you reveled in the furious spark of Neuvillette’s lilac irises.

No more than a second later, a shadow loomed over the two of you. Neuvillette stepped between you and Tartaglia, forcing the other man to take a large step backwards. You, on the other hand, were now partially hidden by the Chief Justice’s large frame, his left arm out to hold you behind him. His cane cracked against the floor in front of him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Tartaglia quickly recovered, looking more entertained than anything. “Woah, comrade! We were just having a bit fun! No need to spoil the mood,” he laughed.

Neuvillette’s eyes simply narrowed as he maintained his calm facade. “You will stay away from my wife.”

The redhead tipped his head, trying to get a better look at you past the Iudex. “Didn’t know I was chatting with the Chief Justice’s lady! Any chance I could convince you to share?” He laughed again, flashing sharp teeth.

Neuvillette was far from amused. “You should hope to never cross paths with me in court, Harbinger.”

Wait. Did he just say Harbinger?

You may have been locked away for four hundred years, but you’d still been informed of the Snezhnayan group of Delusion bearers and their influence (whether for better or for worse) across Teyvat in recent years. You barely had time to process that revelation as Neuvillette firmly clasped your wrist and dragged you outside.

Heavy rain had started to fall, battering the Court with its relentless downpour. Both you and Neuvillette were quickly soaked to the bone, and while you were shivering in your light gown, the Iudex whirled on you. “What exactly did you think you were doing?”

You gave a nonchalant shrug, knowing it would twist the knife even further. “What do you mean?”

“With that man,” Neuvillette said, gritting his teeth. His composed, human mask was slowly slipping, and you were in the mood to provoke the dragon beneath.

“What, I’m not allowed to talk to other men? You were the one who said I could mingle tonight.”

Neuvillette’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Talking? You kissed him, (Y/n). In front of your husband.” His tone slipped into a deep growl. “Your mate.”

Anger flaring, you went in for the kill. “Despite what you keep telling yourself, we are not actually married—”

“Silence!”

Thunder rumbled across the court so violently you swore you felt the ground shake. You gasped as the leviathan tattoo on your arm resurfaced, illuminating your face with blue magic. The authority in his voice cascaded down your spine, soaking your entire being as if you had been submerged into the depths of the darkest ocean. But no, it wasn’t just that—the rain had started to fall even harder, accompanied by gusts of wind that threatened to knock you to your knees. You could barely see five feet in front of you, but the visibility didn’t matter, since Neuvillette’s figure was as clear as day.

He was glowing.

The Hydro Dragon’s horns sparked with blue light, and his robes seemed to have expanded to create flowing waves on either side of his form. Tendrils of azure power snaked through the air around him, forming intricate patterns that resembled water droplets spiraling around one another. Blue seeped from the bottom of his cane and formed cracks through the ground that pulsed with raw energy, threatening to unleash the waters below. His irises burned as bright and silver as moonlight on a midnight sea.

Neuvillette might have been the most composed individual in all of Fontaine, but when his anger bubbled over, it was no mere flood—it was a tsunami.

You gaped at his appearance, the closest to his true draconic form you had seen to date. You suddenly felt like provoking him was your worst idea yet, but that wasn’t what scared you the most. “Did you…can you control…?”

“I am no mere water nymph or Melusine,” Neuvillette replied curly, power dripping from his body as smoothly as water. “I am the Hydro Dragon Sovereign. Water of the earth and the skies bows to me. As will you.”

You weren’t sure when you had started shaking. For the first time in a long while, your anger was doused. You looked between your tattoo and his matching glow and realized just how powerless you were without your vision and within this dragon’s clutches.

Despite all his flaws, after all your years together, Neuvillette knew how to read you. He immediately stilled, a look of panic contorting his handsome features. The ethereal glow around him faded, and the rain began to subside into a dull mist.

He wrapped you in his arms, squeezing you with desperate abandon. “My love, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me—please, forgive me.” Another shiver wracked your form, which prompted him to hold you tighter and bury his nose into your hair, exhaling deeply. “I have made a grave transgression by frightening you so dearly, but I pledge to never lose my temper in such a manner again.”

Neuvillette caressed your cheek and tilted your chin up to gaze longingly into your eyes. “You are my entire world, and I just couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.” He swiftly picked you up bridal style, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Come. I’ll draw you a warm bath with fresh sea salts. I believe we’re done here for tonight.”

Wordlessly, you let him take you home. You can’t argue with a dragon.

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

🤍a completely random modern au headcanon for each aot character 🤍

eren jaeger’s idea of late night fun is going to walmart/target/etc. he likes to walk around with his friends and be absolutely childish. bonus: he’s banned from a certain store for kicking an inflatable ball across the store.

armin arlert is self conscious of his body. it’s only really his torso though. when him and his friends go to the beach, he’s always the last one to take his shirt off. he doesn’t even have anything to be embarrassed about, he’s just disappointed he’s not as muscular as eren or reiner.

mikasa ackerman’s favorite color is a dark red. the blood, cherry type of red. she’s got a lip tint in that color and her nails are painted too much. she also chews her nails. she hopes the nail polish is enough to break the habit but it isn’t.

connie springer’s favorite fast food restaurant is burger king. he thinks it’s underrated. you can count on him to fuck up a whopper. he also always gets the cardboard crowns to wear.

jean kirstein loves night time. he loves the solitude, the way nobody expects anything from him, and the fact that he can just be. he doesn’t get lonely during his late nights but he wouldn’t mind somebody to share it with.

sasha braus smells really good. she doesn’t use any super fancy products, though. she’s just one of those people that naturally have a good aroma. her skin is also really soft.

ymir tans really easy in the summer. she never burns or turns red. she’s genetically blessed. the sun also makes the freckles on her face pop and clusters of them pop up on her back/shoulders.

historia reiss loves milkshakes and soda floats. she always orders them with a whipped cream and cherry. she prefers milkshakes from a diner rather than a fast food place.

marco bodt really likes plants. he has a collection of houseplants. they line his window sills and he even has a special little rack with a special little light. he’s got a super green thumb.

reiner braun drinks protein shakes religiously. he pretty much sticks to a diet of shakes, meat, vegetables and rice. there are few times where he breaks his routine, usually just joining his friends for a night of drinking.

bertholdt hoover has a surprisingly high tolerance when it comes to weed and alcohol. at least that’s what it looks like on the outside. he’s pretty cool, calm and collected. nobody’s sure if he’s immune to being drunk, or if he’s too anxious about acting a fool to show any signs of inebriation.

annie leonhardt owns a german shepherd 100%. she’s had it since it was a pup and it’s one of the most well behaved dogs. they’re oddly similar in their mannerisms. bonus: it’s named marley.

pieck finger is the type of girl to sit on the floor. like, at all times. when she’s sad, she’ll lay down completely and just stare at the ceiling. it’s peaceful and it makes her feel relaxed.

porco galliard goes through an ungodly amount of hairgel. his hair is hard like those ballroom/ballet dancers in competitions. he has trouble growing facial hair.

zeke jaeger gets his weed flown to him from another state/country. it’s the best shit around. he’s also never home because he “runs a business.” always found with a blunt near by.

levi ackerman doesn’t like energy drinks or coffee. if he needs caffeine, he gets it from tea or some kind of health drink. he doesn’t understand how kids hearts don’t give out with all their monsters and red bulls.

erwin smith is so friendly despite his appearance. he finds joy in little things like a heads up penny or when the barista remembers his name/order. he’s a pretty easy going guy.

hange zoe breaks her glasses all the time. they either sit on them or step on them. it’s easy for them to lose their glasses because their room is a mess. books, papers, knick knacks everywhere.

my jean fic

[pixelshiftexe]

In a modern universe, Cersei Lannister would get sent to one of those fancy private rehabs/psych hospitals (she doesn't want to go but Jaime booked her in after her latest breakdown and convinces her that actually it's super trendy these days for rich white women to go on "mental health retreats") and immediately tries to convince her psych team that she's totally fine and actually doesn't need to be here only to promptly be diagnosed with Bipolar and put on an ungodly amount of Seroquel.

Every single meeting she's forced to attend, she sits in her chair huffing up a storm while everyone else speaks, and when it's her turn goes on a fifteen minute rant alternating between insisting that everything wrong with her isn't actually her fault, insulting everyone else at the meeting because can't BELIEVE people actually fall for this psychobabble therapy nonsense, and sobbing uncontrollably over how her life has turned out.

After she's done she goes back to ignoring everyone.

Would absolutely look down on the people in there for narcotic addictions despite the fact that she's spent roughly the equivalent of the GDP of a small country on cocaine over the years.

Also freely admits to her therapist to having had an incestuous relationship with Jaime during childhood and adolescence but insists it doesn't matter anymore because they "grew out of it" after Jaime went to military school and she realised it would've been social suicide for her modelling career if anyone got photos of them together while she was dating various other celebrity guys, and remains completely oblivious to the ongoing emotional incest and codependency that's running through her entire family.

She emphatically insists that the only problem with Tywin's parenting was that he didn't send Tyrion away at birth and that he got Jaime a spot at Harvard Business School even though he didn't actually WANT to go and SHE did.

If this sounds like I'm bashing her, I promise I'm not. These are simply things I know to be true.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

More Furina asks? You don't need to ask twice :)

How about Furina and an assortment of Genshin/GFL characters taking care of a sick S/O? Thanks in advance if you write it!

Taking care of a sick S/O

(Genshin Impact/GFL/iDOLM@STER/GG:ST)

Genshin: Furina, Chiori, Clorinde, Navia, Shenhe, Xianyun, Xinyan

GFL: UMP45, UMP9, G11, HK416, WA2000, Helianthus, Angelia, Kalina

iDOLM@STER: Madoka

Guilty Gear: Elphelt

Congratulations, dear follower! You have won the lottery of where I write an ungodly amount of characters for no real reason! (Simping is the reason)

(Furina) "Y-You're sick?...Hm, this shall be no problem for me! Worry not, for you are in great hands!"

They were in fact not in great hands.

Furina doesn't really know what to do for someone when they get sick. Hell, she wasn't entirely sure she could even get a cold.

But Furina would try her best, she heard soup would do good!

As for cooking it-

(Furina) "Don't worry, I will get the best soup in the city for you! I will be back in but half an hour!"

She ain't.

Furina manages to get S/O to at least feel happy with her company, even if she had no idea what to do other than pace around nervously.

When she's out of earshot and they're sleeping somewhat comfortably, she takes a deep sigh, thankful she wasn't entirely useless.

(Furina) "Thank goodness they'll be okay..."

Chiori raises an eyebrow the moment she hears her S/O cough violently.

(Chiori) "Come down with something?" sigh "Oh well, guess I can open a little later than usual."

Even if S/O protests that they're fine, Chiori is hearing none of it.

First she makes sure to get everything they need, ranging from food or medicine and looks back from the door.

(Chiori) "I'll be back once I close up shop. Make sure you follow the instructions on that."

She won't baby anyone, since she trusts S/O to take care of themselves.

But should they get worse, she won't hesitate to close up, at least for a little bit, and experiment with her clothing at home with them.

Chiori would much rather deal with S/O's illness than having to deal with illness the customers give her by just breathing the same air.

Clorinde has her duties to attend to, but she reassures S/O with a gentle squeeze of their hand.

(Clorinde) "I will return home as quickly as I can with medicine, until then please rest up."

Clorinde is a little nervous leaving them alone and getting peace of mind once she's actually back and not dealing with the drama of the court or the public in general.

Even though it's unfortunate S/O got sick, she is at least happy to spend the time with them that she can.

And more importantly, that she's here to help take care of them when they need it most.

Clorinde puts a warm towel on their forehead, a small smile forming once she sees their body relaxing.

(Clorinde) "Are you feeling better, S/O? Here. This is from a lesser-known restaurant I enjoy, their soup is quite refreshing."

With a snap of her fingers, Navia already has a gaggle of men under her command fetching medicine, food, entertainment.

Whatever S/O required, they would get it!

As for her, Navia did not intend to leave their side, not really caring about the risk of getting sick.

She hated getting sick herself, and she knew how boring it'd be to rest in bed.

Instead, she regales S/O with tales from her childhood, interesting things she's learned, or even just enjoying the time with them in an intimate silence.

As long as they were smiling and not thinking about how sick they were, it was mission accomplished.

(Navia) "Ah, that must be our food arriving! Allow me to set up the table-...Hm? No no, stay right there! I insist that we have nothing short of an exquisite atmosphere! A better atmosphere is a better state of health, I'd say!"

This was an area of expertise Xianyun was well researched in.

Taking care of her many disciples when they were younger, this really was no problem for her.

There was nothing quite as refreshing like Adeptus Medicine!

...Well, it could actually be too refreshing since it wasn't particularly made for mortals in mind. Especially the taste, according to Shenhe.

Regardless, they could heal the body in no time, but there was nothing better to help with it than a well made soup!

Made by her personally, of course.

(Xianyun) "One has prepared a broth to help with your stuffy nose, S/O. Be sure to drink it all, it will warm both the body and soul!"

Xinyan is rushing around the harbor, grabbing every medicine she knows that always helped her in a pinch.

(Xinyan) "Here ya go, S/O! These herbs taste gross, but they'll pack a heckuva punch for that cold ya got!"

She practices her guitar while sitting next to S/O, keeping in mind of the volume the entire time.

As long as S/O wanted some company, anyway.

Xinyan will constantly check their temperatures and bring them some homemade food, smiling when she sees them laughing or relaxed on the bed.

(Xinyan) "Heh, that herb tastes gross, don't it? I used to have them all the time when I was little, sure as heck don't like 'em nowadays!"

UMP45 would tease S/O for getting sick, with a little bit of a softer expression than usual if they were alone.

(UMP45) "Aw, you got sick? Well, good thing I'm a T-Doll. Have fun with that.~"

She hangs out with S/O on the bed, giving her an excuse to not go out that day.

Depending on how severe the sickness was, she would dial back her usual snarky attitude more and more.

If anything, these kinds of moments is what she wished for, once she no longer had to fight.

But for now, UMP45 would just have to make do with these fleeting domestic dreams.

(UMP45) "...Hm? I'm lost in thought? Nah, that's just your sickness messing with your head."

UMP9 is on the case!

(UMP9) "No worries, you won't get bored while I'm here!"

She immediately plops down onto the bed, giving warmth to S/O if needed! The base was in a colder region after all.

UMP9 would talk about excitedly about all the things she had in mind to S/O, to at least get their mind off being sick!

Plus she didn't really have to worry about getting sick herself. so there was no harm!

She'd also bring all sorts of treats and food from the Cafe, even if S/O couldn't really eat it.

(UMP9) "Here's some soup! Now, say 'aaah'!"

(G11) "...Does that mean you won't be cooking dinner tonight?"

G11 sighs heavily, but whatever.

She knew there was one thing she could help with.

She immediately crawls into bed with S/O, letting herself be used like a giant teddy bear and promptly falls asleep from the warmth of S/O and the blankets.

(G11) zzz

To her credit, she at least makes sure S/O is never freezing cold, but other than sleeping, she doesn't really do much.

Unsurprisingly.

(HK416) "Tch, idiot. I told you, you should have been wearing more layers."

She rolls her eyes, but never really comments on the fact she is making sure S/O is bundled up properly, getting proper medication, and even spoonfeeding them.

Of course she's not babying them, they were a fully functional human, if anything they're wasting her time, making her do such mundane things!

(HK416) "And I'm not blushing, T-Dolls can't blush, dumbass."

Which her flushed cheeks were telling S/O otherwise.

In the end, she'll grumble and mutter under her breath, but never once will she actually hesitate to immediately jump into help S/O, unless UMP9 was teasing her.

WA sighs dramatically, immediately putting the blanket over S/O.

(WA2000) "Tch, don't get it in your head that I'm doing this because I'm concerned! It's so that you can get back to your duties already."

She is yet another German tsundere T-Doll that takes care of S/O perfectly, down to getting them a new towel down to the most precise nanosecond.

WA still attends to her duties, but S/O's room is where she returns the instant she can.

(WA2000) "Has your fever died down already?...Finally, next time take better care of yourself! What would happen if I wasn't here, huh?"

Helianthus has S/O attended to by medical officers, and makes a trip to them in person.

(Helianthus) "I'm glad to see it was nothing serious. I hope that it is a swift recovery, S/O."

In front of the others, she is extremely professional.

But in private, it's diminished somewhat but she is far more prone to getting flustered.

(Helianthus) "...W-Why do you look so surprised to see me? It's not as if we never see each other! Hmph, if you're trying to tease me, then you must be feeling better already. Then hurry up and return to your duties!"

Helianthus is far more comfortable when she knows they're remaining in the medbay and receiving the best care Griffin can offer.

Angelia is pretty neutral on the situation.

S/O got sick? Welp, sucks to be them.

Work doesn't really stop for her, but she'll at least pay a visit or three.

(Angelia) "Hey, still feeling like crap? Thought so. If you need me to grab you something, let me or any of my girls know."

Although her tone sounds dismissive, her real hand ruffles their hair affectionately before she turns to leave.

And if they can spare the time, Angelia orders DEFY to at least keep an eye on S/O until they fully recover.

Kalina pouts when she hears S/O had gotten sick.

(Kalina) "Aw man, now I gotta pick up your paperwork too, S/O! You wound my very soul!"

She's only mostly joking.

Kalina likes to bug them after her shift is over for the day, deflating on their bed and mumbling into their blanket.

(Kalina) "Did you know the Commander just plopped another stack of papers onto my desk the moment I said I was done! It's cruel!...STOP LAUGHING, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SICK YA LITTLE PUNK!"

Madoka has her work as an idol keeping her busy, but after work she pops by S/O's room, water and medicine in hand.

And as usual, her expression remains stoic.

(Madoka) "Hey, got some stuff for you. Move over for a sec."

She takes care of them without saying much. Her gaze is focused, yet soft.

And once Madoka is finished, she avoids looking at them directly, her voice a bit quieter than before.

(Madoka) "...It's a bit pointless to thank me, it's something anyone would do."

It could be S/O's imagination, but they thought they saw her face getting slightly red after helping them.

She gives their arm a slight squeeze in response, still averting her sight.

(Elphelt) "Just do what I do when I have problems! SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!"

Being a Valentine, she was pretty sure(???) that she couldn't get sick. At least, not in the same way a human could.

But she doesn't like to see anyone sad, her S/O especially.

Elphelt brings S/O all sorts of things to see that smile, such as bush dog plushies, bush dog photos, bush dog songs-

And sweets! Lots of sweets as well!

(Elphelt) "...What do you mean you can't eat cake right now?...Oh, you're right! Duh, I should've brought some ice cream instead! BE BACK IN A JIFFY!"

Before S/O can say anything, else, she's already gone.

At the very least, S/O won't be bored while they're sick.

Did Elphelt make them feel better?

...Even mentally, that was up for debate. But at least they knew she loved them.

[tojigasm]

I just wanted to do more on the trimming butcher's beard cause it's so cute and fluffy and amazing. So like. Here's a lil story for youuuuu

It was easy to forget how quickly his beard grew in. At least it was until he stopped trimming it back. Growing uneven and scraggly. Leaving an ungodly amount of beard burn on your chin, neck, and even your thighs.

You had had enough. Buying cream to soothe the aching burn he left after each heated make out session was getting to be expensive enough you considered cutting him off.

So here you were, sat neatly in his lap, thighs bracketing his hips as he sat on the closed toilet lid. A straight razor to clean up the edges that had crawled up his cheeks. Anytime you pulled away to wipe off the hairs from the blade he playfully nipped at your fingers holding the skin taught.

"So good to me doll, cleaning me up" he said, chapped lips pressing a kiss to the small bite he had made. Holding perfectly still as you moved to the other side.

"It's more for my own health than your cleaner look," you muttered, always careful as you set aside the blade. The loud buzzing fills your ears and the vibrations from the trimmer, making your fingers numb after a second. After making sure for the third time you were using the right guard, you started on the coarse stragglers.

"It's not that bad," he said through gritted teeth, trying not to move too much. Still as a statue aside from the lazy rubbing and massaging of his hands along your ass and thighs. Almost kneading like a cat as he let you clean him up.

Maybe ten minutes later of careful cleaning up did you get off his lap, letting him look in the mirror. Grunting in approval as he brushing his fingers through it a few times.

"Looks wonderful, angel." he said, giving you a chaste kiss before leaving you to clean up the bathroom. Bastard.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ellstronaut]

Vlogger!Reader x Modern! Ellie Series

somehow your girlfriend managed to get her hands on your video camera that’s when she stumbles upon a file titled "Ellie" revealing a bunch of footage of her, without her knowledge, of her day-to-day life

one video shows you putting questionable amount of sunscreen on her face

[video plays]

“babe we’ve been through this like 17 times—”

[she squirms as you keep smothering her face with sunscreen none stop. Rubbing it on her nose, under her eyes, all over her cheeks]

“—don't need that much sunscreen, my skins not that sensitive”

[you seem unfazed by her comments as you keep going]

"swear to god if i end up looking like a glazed donut in 15 minutes gonna have a meltdown"

“correction you’ll look like an adorable sunburn-free glazed donut”

“so you think I’m adorable huh?”

“why else would I slather sunscreen on your stupid face” you joke

[she tries not to laugh but you can tell she’s having a hard time resisting]

“so not cause you care about my health or sum, just wanna spend an ungodly amount of time touching my face?”

“guilty. now quit moving stupid almost done”

[clip cuts]

[euripidestrousers]

What are your big wolfstar hc?

Ooh good question!

I tend to change my hcs based on the AU I'm writing, but i am not exaggerating when I say these little freaks are Always on My Mind so I have an ungodly amount of canon-themed hcs. Here we go:

- Remus is one of the only people Sirius cuts a fair amount of slack. Sirius has high standards and expectations of others but he has a huge Remus-shaped blind spot, so will find reasons to excuse Remus' sometimes shitty behaviour. He has heart shaped eyes for his gangly, sly, avoidant attachment style man.

- Remus sleeps like an absolute log, anywhere, anytime. Sirius has always been a light sleeper, wakes easily, and doesn't sleep much.

- They kept their casual fucking-turned relationship secret until well after graduating. The only ones who knew were James, Lily and Peter. Lily was the first one to figure it out because poor James had been in the trenches, so used to his friends' flirting that he didn't even clock it anymore. It brought Lily and Sirius together because he had someone to talk about it with, the first person he'd met who wasn't a casual homophobe about it, and was sympathetic.

- Second to this! James and Peter weren't always rainbow flag waving allies. They were teenage boys in the 70s - they'd drop casual homophobic comments all the time before finding out about their friends. Sirius joined in sometimes to hide it from James (he never cared what anyone else would think but he was secretly afraid of losing closeness with James), and Remus went very quiet whenever this happened. James was surprised at first when he found out but came around within minutes and apologised for being a thoughtless dick when he was younger.

- Peter most definitely used Remus and Sirius' tumultuous relationship against them. Remus was very avoidant about coming out and Sirius, while not his highest priority, resented having to hide. They bickered about it and Peter would often throw a spanner in to make their fighting worse.

- Sirius' hair is a good indicator of his mental health. While he's not vain he tends to keep it neat and out of the way when he's in a good place mentally. When he's fighting inner demons he lets it go and Remus knows this. He uses it as a Sirius-meter, and knows when it's starting to get long and unkempt to gently pry into what's going on with him.

- They do the crossword puzzles together most mornings (when Remus gets up in time)

- Sirius is fantastic at baking although he only did it once or twice for Lily's birthday (per her request). Remus is the cook for both of them, although when Sirius isn't there he sustains himself on tea, biscuits and deeply suppressed anxiety.

- Sirius is a singer when he's in a good mood. Remus adores coming home to hear his deep voice belting out a mix of muggle and wix songs because it means Sirius is in his happy place. Sirius is a serenader - it starts as a joke but there's a soft look in his eye when sings while he spins Remus around the kitchen. It's one of Remus' favourite Sirius-isms

- Sirius jokes about Remus' lycanthropy to make light of it. He can be a bit callous and insensitive about it at times, but his candour does make Remus feel less like a monster.

- They are god-awful at communicating as they're both rather private, skeptical people. While it's something they have in common and respect about each other, it makes for difficulties in a relationship.

- Sirius is a Nightmare when he's bored so Remus has a mental Rolodex of thought-provoking questions to stop him from wreaking havoc (or just being annoying). As soon as he sees the restlessness starting, he casually brings up that new law about to pass in the goblin senate, and how it might affect non-human creatures in the wizarding world. He still hasn't recovered from the time Sirius got bored and took apart his record player to see how it worked and he's not getting caught out again. This is also one of the reasons why Remus is in Sirius' top 3 favourite people - he always has something interesting to say and will happily debate for hours. Sirius is hardly ever bored around him.

- Neither of them are jealous lovers. Remus' self-worth is in the toilet, so if he sees someone flirting with Sirius he just feels miserable and spirals, thinking about how Sirius can do so much better than him. Sirius is a fiercely loyal person so he never flirts back and thinks Remus' self-image issues are ridiculous. On the odd occasion that someone flirts with Remus, Sirius rather enjoys it because a) it's ammunition for teasing and Remus will go bright red when he brings it up, and b) Watching Remus eventually realise he's being flirted with is prime entertainment - he fumbles and blushes so hard and almost takes out whoever's around in his haste to flee. It's priceless. Also - Sirius is extremely self-assured and knows his partner is hopelessly gone for him and would never cheat. Trust is extremely important to them both.

- Remus is extremely unpleasant around the full moon. He's got all sorts of aches and pains, has trouble sleeping properly, fatigue, and nausea issues. It makes him irritable and snappy. Sirius is incredibly patient with him and gives him space. He doesn't take Remus' mood to heart and occupies himself while Remus wallows. He's always there when Remus finally emerges from his misery to pitifully request a massage or a pain potion, and is uncharacteristically soft with him during the full moon period.

- Sirius. Cannot. Stand. the way Remus runs away from problems. It's his biggest pet peeve and it's a source of some of their biggest fights.

- Remus is mostly vanilla-aligned but is open to trying whatever new thing Sirius comes home with, smiling giddily and clutching a new toy or book with a spell he wants to try out. Occasionally Sirius will strike gold and find a kink Remus is wild for (ahem, praise kink), and is horribly smug about it

- Sirius is hopelessly gone for Remus' feigning innocence, lying through his teeth act. He doesn't understand it, but seeing Remus lie point blank to someone's face with those big, trustworthy brown eyes, sends him off-the chain, I-need-to-fuck-this-man-right-now-wild and he has no clue why. Remus is aware of this.

- They are mostly switchy but will go for months at a time with a preference for topping/bottoming. When Remus is feeling particularly insecure he tends to want to be fucked intimately, face-to-face, where he can see every twitch in Sirius' face, can catalogue the evidence of how much Sirius adores him. Sirius is just happy to be along for the ride because this way he can completely blanket Remus and grind slowly, swallowing every one of Remus' whimpers and broken moans as he fucks him slowly and thoroughly. Sirius can't get enough of taking him apart, finding his limits, anything that breaks Remus' finely tuned composure.

- Sirius is awful at apologies when they're younger. He has trouble admitting or even seeing his wrongs. After becoming an animagus he finds that it's much easier to apologise as Padfoot. After a fight he'll go for a rage-fuelled long walk or bike-ride, and cool down. When he's said or done something he regrets, he'll come home as Padfoot, tail drooping and wagging hopefully, big grey eyes fixed on Remus. He'll sidle up to him and just stare, wagging his tail. Remus knows exactly what he's doing but it's impossible to stay mad at him like this and he begrudgingly accepts that it's Sirius' way of apologising. It's not the healthiest communication tactic but they're not perfect. Once Sirius receives a begrudging head scratch, he changes back to his human form and acts like they never fought. It's annoyingly effective.

- Remus absolutely loathes flying on Sirius' motorbike. He begrudgingly admits it's hot to see Sirius dismounting, windswept, leather jacket donned, but god help him he'll do anything to avoid joining him on that death-trap. The only upside is that when he gets cajoled into riding, he can wrap around Sirius like a squid, burying his face in his back, and it's the only way it feels even slightly safe. Sirius secretly loves when Remus does this, and although he doesn't know what cute aggression is, it makes him want to squeeze Remus until his head pops off.

- Sirius is The Garbage Bin of the relationship. Oh you're not gonna finish your dinner? Pass it on over. Random assortment of treats Remus can't finish? Munches on them instead of meals. He often forgets to eat so he gets what he can when he can - ADHD eating style. Remus is the sick Victorian child, 'i can't eat too much dairy or I'll die'. Takes one bite of an apple and feels sick, Sirius, come get your snack, boy.

- Neither of them ever wanted kids but they both like children, which is a surprise to both of them. Given the chance, they are the Coolest Uncles, although Remus is cagey about their relationship and insists they're just best pals that live together until Harry is old enough to call bullshit, and Sirius just shrugs like 'yeah, he's weird about it. If you ask him about it he'll run away to Turkey. I'm working on it.'

Wowwww okay I have so many more but I have to stop somewhere. I hope you don't regret asking this question anon! You have opened Pandora's box

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 4

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Word Count: ~2000. I think this is my longest chapter.

Warnings: Bullying, Fat shaming, Insecure reader, Violence mentioned and referenced but not written. Please let me know if I missed any!

Series Masterlist

Part 3 -- Part 5

It figured. You had an interview in an hour and now Curtis had time to talk to you. You could probably catch a cab and still arrive on time, so long as you kept this conversation short.

As soon as he walked into the cyber cafe (your second home at this point) you stood up and got his attention. He looked a little surprised to see you standing but you remembered every time he's seen you so far it was in a hospital bed. It's been a few weeks and your leg was still stiff but you were diligent in your physical therapy and healing well.

He walked over to you, accompanied by someone you didn't recognize. As soon as he got close enough you directed him to the office in the back, "Jefferson gave me permission to use his office for this discussion." Curtis nodded and the three of you went into the room, closing the door behind you.

"Hello," you reach a hand towards the stranger, "I'm Y/N. I don't think we've been introduced."

"Mace," he shakes your hand with a smile. "We've never met but I have heard a lot about you."

"It's nice to meet you," you return the smile. Looking at Curtis you continue, "we need to talk about either my schedule or Hal's, Sir."

Curtis gestures to the chairs and you all take a seat.

You start, "I understand that there are a lot of things you can't account for in your scheduling but Hal has had to cancel every session I've tried to have with him. And if I'm not tutoring, I'm not getting paid."

"We can put you on retainer," Curtis started.

You interrupted him with a scoff. "I'm not getting paid to do nothing, Sir. What's more, this is hurting Hal. He wants to learn but your chaotic scheduling is preventing that. Do you know how discouraging that can be? To finally have a resource but never be allowed to use it?"

Curtis sighs and looks at Mace, "do you think we can figure out a consistent time?"

"It'll take some work," he replies. "And, as the lady points out, there are things we can't plan for. But it should be possible."

Curtis looks at you, questioningly and you nod your head, "thank you both. This has been very frustrating for me and Hal so I really appreciate it."

"Eh," Mace replies, "what's a little more work?"

"Well I don't mean to cut into your time off with this, Sirs," your tone apologetic.

"We don't do time off," Curtis cuts in.

"What? Why not," you demand. "Time off is important for physical and mental health."

"We have to show our people that we're not asking them to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves," Curtis replied calmly.

"That's bullshit," you exclaim. "No wonder everyone's schedules are so hectic! You're all too exhausted and worn out to think straight!"

"We've been doing this for years," Curtis angrily interjects. "It's clearly been working."

"If you, Hal and Jake are any indication it's only working because of an ungodly amount of caffeine and luck," you retort. "You either need to get some more people or start scheduling R&R for you and your employees, Sir."

You're so focused on Curtis that you don't see Mace smiling, clearly trying not to laugh. Curtis's eyes soften a bit and he nods in concession.

"Thank you." You check your watch, "now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview to get to."

"What?" Curtis looked shocked. You almost think you saw some hurt in his eyes.

"My work for you will always get highest priority, Sir," you assure. "But it's very part-time work, that you’ve been unintentionally sabotaging and keeping very part-time. And that overly generous back pay won't last forever. So I'm looking at getting another income."

"Do you need a ride to the interview," Mace offers.

"No, but thank you," you reply. "The Wilford & Gilliam Trust building isn't too far and I can afford a cab."

Both men froze at your words as you got up and tried to leave. Curtis quickly blocked your access to the door and nearly growled, "you're not going to that interview."

"Excuse you?" Your eyes widen in surprise. "I've already told you that my work for you will get top priority and that I need the income, Sir. Now please move. I don't want to be late."

"You're not working for Wilford & Gilliam," Curtis barked. "You need another income? Fine. I'll find you another job. But you're not working for them."

"It's just a part-time, data entry kind of job," you retort. "And it's consistent, reliable work."

"They're horrible people who fund even worse people," Curtis scowled. "I know you like your data to back up these kinds of things but I can't tell you how I know."

You scan Curtis's face, take aback at the intensity of his conviction. There is no room for doubt that he believes in what he's saying. "Okay, Sir," you concede. "You've yet to do wrong by me so I'll trust you. I will still look for a second job, in case you can't find me one, but it will not be with them."

Satisfied with your answer Curtis let's you leave. As soon as you're out the office door he sees the grin on Mace's face. He gives him a questioning look but before Mace can say anything they hear you exclaim, "Mr. Drysdale?!"

Both men rush out to the main cafe and see Ransom looking uncharacteristically repentant.

"Y/N," Ransom gulped, "come back to work for me. Please."

"No," you responded before trying to walk around him.

Ransom blocks your path, "please! I...I made a mistake and I would like to make it up to you."

"No," you repeat, patience wearing thin.

"I'll double your pay, please!"

"Hire someone else!"

"I'VE TRIED," he shouts. "Their work doesn't get me through writer's block like yours did. Their research is all dry facts that are hard to absorb. You wrote in such a way that it was easy for me to figure out how to write it into the story. So PLEASE come back to work for me!"

"Do you know why I requested remote work, Mr. Drysdale?" He shakes his head, not used to the iciness in your voice. "I heard you complaining about me to your grandfather, the one who made you hire me. You never had a problem with my work but you still insisted he let you fire me so you could get a pretty assistant. One who was, to use your words, preferably fresh out of college. Because how could you be expected to write when you had to look at ugly, fat ass instead of a beautiful muse?"

Ransom at least had the decency to look ashamed but you didn't relent.

"So I worked remotely, making sure you wouldn't have to see me and I wouldn't have to put up with your looks of disgust. And then, when I got hurt, you cut me loose. So, no, Mr. Drysdale, I will not be working for you ever again. I prefer a reliable employer who appreciates my work."

You try to walk past him but he puts an arm out to stop you. Before you can react to the arm, Curtis has pulled Ransom away, gripping him by the front of his sweater. You don't want to cry in front of everyone so you keep walking, set on going home.

As soon as you're out the door Curtis snarls, "you do not treat any of my employees like that." Before Ransom can reply Curtis punches him in the face and he falls to the floor. Curtis glances at Mace who responds with a nod, promising he'll see to the witnesses, before he lets himself run after you.

Thankfully it was an off time of day and the sidewalks were mostly empty. He spotted you right away and quickly went after you. He caught up to you but the tears in your eyes made him stop in his tracks. 

“Y/N,” he asked. “You gonna be okay?”

“Eventually, Sir,” you reply, still walking. “He’s not the first asshole I’ve had to deal with and he won’t be the last.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, actually. He needs to know I’m serious and that I’m strong enough to not need him. If you had stepped in before I was done talking, he’d think he could still get to me by going around you. This way I got to be the one shutting him out, giving him no room to think he could worm around.”

“That’s fair. I was incredibly impressed with how you handled him.”

“Like I said, not the first asshole to put my looks ahead of my worth.”

“Your prettiness is definitely a bonus to your good work,” he says before he can stop himself.

You stop and look at him, an angry expression and fresh tears on your face. “Don’t, Sir. Just don’t. I’m not interested in your pity.”

“I’m not…” Curtis stops himself. He’s clearly not saying the right things and doesn’t want to hurt you further. “I’m sorry.”

You nod and continue the trek to your apartment. He silently accompanies you. You’re hurt and he can’t fix it. If anything, he’d likely just make it worse. He never wanted to see tears in your eyes but being the cause of a fresh wave of them made him hurt in ways he never knew he could. 

“This is my building, Sir,” you interrupt his thoughts. “Thank you for walking me home and making sure I’m okay.” He nods, still afraid to say or do anything else, and you walk into your building, leaving him on the sidewalk. Part of him wants to follow after but he’s not sure he’d be able to actually do anything. Best if he just gets lost in his work. That’s always helped him before.

As he turns to walk back to the cybercafe, he sees Mace in their work van, parked on the curb. He moves into the passenger seat and sighs. As Mace drives away, Curtis says, “okay, we’ve gotta rework a few schedules.”

Mace chuckles, “if I’d known all it would take to get you to relent was a pretty face with a fiery spirit-”

“Don’t,” Curtis interrupts. 

“I’m just saying,” Mace bantered. “I’ve been telling you for a long while now that we need to give the guys a better work environment or they’ll burnout and make stupid mistakes. She makes one comment about how it affects her and you’re singing a different tune.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“I was there, Curtis. I saw it all happen.”

Curtis remained silent.

“I can’t say I blame you, though. She’s got some serious-”

“ENOUGH,” Curtis ordered. “Let’s just get to thinking about some more work for her.”

Mace took a calculating look at Curtis, “how about we have work with Colin and Mickey? They could use someone responsible to act as their manager. We could get better info from their VIP section if at least one person was sober. And you know they’d make her feel…appreciated.”

“No,” Curtis barked. “They’re idiots who would get her in trouble. I also don’t want her anywhere near the drug monitoring operations. If one of Rumlow’s goons pushes something on her…”

“Okay,” Mace interrupted. “How about Lee or Barber? She’d be pretty safe with them.”

“No. She’s too curious. Lee and Barber have information about us and I don’t want her to go snooping and suddenly be liable for our mistakes.”

“You’re intent on keeping her in the dark? She’s clearly smart enough to know there’s more to all of what we do.”

“But she has no specifics. No details. She can still claim ignorance and that’s how I want it.”

“Not sure how plausible an idea that’s gonna be. Especially when you two start dating.” Mace smiles a little when he hears Curtis’s warning grunt. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Curtis vows. “We’ll figure out something.”

“Whatever you say, Boss.”

Part 3 -- Part 5

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[authoratmidnight]

So, one thing I like about having an official english release is that it translates things that were previously left untranslated, usually due to being too small or hard to read (which, fair enough).

In this case, in vol 8(chapter 68), we get to see some of Kalego's personal notes about Iruma!

I have done my best to transcribe them so you don't have to squint to read. Throwing them under a cut b/c long.

Page 1 (the bottom most page on the right hand side)

[First part is illegible, I see the word 'her' and what might be 'Clara' so it may be talking about Iruma's relationship/interactions with Clara]

...c Asmodeus...

Eligos Schnell...

...school activities...

...mostly [unintelligible] his...

...(t?)here they design(?)...

...more than [unintelligible] hers...

...most likely...

[Note: This is the most illegible of the pages. if I had to guess it's discussing Iruma and the Batra/it's members? It's really hard to tell]

Page 2 (the one Iruma's hand is on)

Valac Clara

Interactions with Classmates

-Spends most of his time with other boys in class

-As for girls, he has been seen interacting with Keroli Crocell and following her lead

Battler Magic Apparatus Research

-Activities temporarily suspended

-> see Kirio Amy pg (it looks like a number is written here but can't tell, possible 4? or 14?)

-Iruma may very well...magical power

Eligos (Schnell)....Student Cap...

.....(inc)ident

Temp(orary/orarily? not sure which one)...while...activities

[Note: I really wanna know what notes he has about Kirio and Iruma's relationship. Since the notes aren't gonna be about Kirio since Kirio wasn't his student, they would be about him in relation to Iruma]

Page 3 (the one of the far left, which we can see the most of)

↑ Related to a childhood trauma?

....not be a specific kind of magic

....to monitor the amount of food he eats

.... and looks up to, but soundly dismisses

...with students in other classes

.... n: leading a healthy school life

....re concerns at this time

...e walks to school remains unclear

...every moment during the flying

...improving physical prowess

...(contin)ue to monitor collaboration with

...action with Sabro Sabnok

...ffect during his evil cycle

...Clara Valac's mystifying games

...-physical health

[Note: So Kalego has for sure noticed that Iruma eats and snacks an ungodly amount. I'm not sure if the 'childhood trauma' comment is in relation to that, but given the first three lines are lumped together I would say yes. It's Kalego speculating why he eats so much and presumably ruling out it being for magical reasons.

Second paragraph, uh, Iruma needs to make more friends in other classes? lol That said, Kalego does not appear to have any actual pressing concerns and Iruma is doing fine at school on a social level despite that.

Kalego has also noticed that Iruma walks to school and very noticeably did not fly in the flying race. Doesn't know why, but he is noticing. It's a good thing Kalego is aware that Iruma is human now and never tried to put him in flight classes b/c oh no. That would have been bad.

Also Kalego noticing Iruma interacting with classmates like Sabro and Clara, and his willingness to, indulge them ig.]

[adiluv-moved]

❥ PHOTOGRAPHER + SLEEP HCS ꒰MINI꒱. ˚⊹꒷

🌷୧・꒰word count꒱ 710.

💮୧・꒰warnings꒱ none!

🌸୧・꒰adi moment꒱ i initially drafted this when i was about to pass out, and i figured that i might as well turn it into a post since i'd wanted to put something up today. very happy about men with long nails! hope you enjoy! ꒰*ˊᗜˋ꒱ ♡

꒰⚔️꒱・First thing first, Joseph is both a late sleeper and a late riser. Sure, his title may not hold any real weight within the confines of Oletus Manor, but he’s quite literally an aristocrat—he needs his beauty sleep! The hecticness of the manor occasionally has him playing in matches for a majority of the day, oftentimes returning with pockets worth of photos that need to be developed. This process takes him well into the night, and it certainly doesn’t help that most of the photos are of random parts of the maps that he plays in—considering that he tends to use whatever camera is closest to him in order to save time. All things considered, don’t be too surprised when you suddenly feel an extra weight sliding beneath your covers at some ungodly hour. He does his best to be quiet, at least.

꒰⚔️꒱・Despite his own questionable habits, Joseph will absolutely get on your back if you have a bad sleep schedule—using your eyebags ꒰assuming you have them꒱ as a form of evidence… despite the small ones that have formed beneath his own eyes. Should you attempt to bring up this fact at all, he’ll simply counter by mentioning that this ‘intervention’ is meant to be about you, not him. After all, while a lack of sleep has a terrible impact on your health, it also puts you at a heavy disadvantage during your own matches. He loves you, and he realizes that the steaks are oftentimes higher for survivors than they are for his fellow hunters—so why should you risk making a bad call, getting yourself hurt, or even losing the match when you could just..! Go. To. Bed! 

꒰⚔️꒱・Attempting to use early matches as an excuse for your sleep deprivation would have him to writing to Miss Nightingale in an attempt to get her to move your matches to the afternoon. He, alongside some other hunters, have had the same arrangement made for them—he doesn’t see why she couldn’t make an exception for you, as well. As he continuously attempts to reiterate to you—the proper amount of sleep is crucial ꒰plus some extra, in your case, due to your sleep debt꒱—even while stuck in the manor. And assuming that Nightingale caves, you’ll lose your excuse to leave his embrace so early in the morning.

꒰⚔️꒱・If he enters your bedroom after developing a day’s worth of photos to find you still awake—he will lure you away from whatever it is that you’re working on. Whether that be with the temptations of cuddles, kisses, or perhaps a massage to your scalp, Joseph has quite the knack of luring you away from your desk. However, if all else fails, he’ll simply end up dragging  your chair over to the bed and pulling  you beneath the covers. You’d called his bluff when he’d first threatened you with the concept, and the completely deadpan expression on his face as he actually did it was a bit hilarious. Or, at least it was to you, in your exhausted state. 

꒰⚔️꒱・Speaking of scalp massages, Joseph makes very good use of his long nails whenever he gives them. If you tie your hair tightly, or if you’re prone to headaches and migraines, he’ll often attempt to soothe the discomfort by pulling you onto his lap and weaving his fingers through your hair. He makes the same offer if he notices that you’re having trouble falling asleep, the gesture being calming enough to allow the Sandman to whisk you away and to your dreams. He thinks you look absolutely adorable whenever you drift off like that, and he’ll often take photos of you to keep with his room.

꒰⚔️꒱・His hair is incredibly soft, and he usually prefers to sleep with it down. Combined with his love of cuddling and sleeping as close to you as possible, there have been multiple instances where you’ve woken up during the night to find some of it in your face and mouth. He’s quite appreciative if you ever offer to reciprocate his own massages, as getting hit on the head with palettes does tend to hurt him quite a bit. Sometimes, you’ll tie your hair with his ribbon while giving one to him. He’ll... also be needing a photo of that.

i have a taglist, which you can sign up for here!

[powdermelonkeg]

I am researching an ungodly amount of fish cuisine facts for fictional fish dishes.

A Torilian quipper fish is based on a piranha.

Are piranhas edible? Yes.

Are quippers edible? Well, Waterdhavians eat them.

Cool. What about Tamrielic slaughterfish?

Based on...uh...well, in Skyrim, sockeye salmon in spawning season? Visually?

Is it salmon-like? Doesn't look like it. Seared slaughterfish is a white meat.

Alligator gar? It's got the teeth, size, white fillets, and poisonous (damage health) eggs.

Alright, let's go with alligator gar.

Alligator gar has a similar taste to lobster. Cool, got a baseline.

Hundur sauce is, as described by the creator of Forgotten Realms, a "tamarind and clam sauce, is medium-hot sour-sweet."

Do people cook piranha with tamarind? Internet says yes.

How about lobster? Several recipes for tamarind lobster sauce came up, so that's also a yes.

Clam? Can't find anything on clam sauce being used on lobster, BUT, clam is often cooked WITH lobster for pasta dishes. So I can assume they taste fine together.

All of this to find out if Gale Baldursgate could put homemade hundur sauce on the one fish Taliesin Skyrim will eat. To say nothing of if Tally would LIKE it, just if it would be remotely PALATABLE to anyone at camp.

(Conclusion: yes, it would be palatable. I would eat it)

Can Gale even MAKE hundur sauce in Skyrim, though? *checks replacements for tamarind* If he gets saltrice vinegar and some kind of brown sugar? Yes.

Where does sugar in Tamriel come from? Lavender dumplings are the only baked good in Skyrim that use moon sugar as an ingredient, so I can ASSUME the absence of it from things like apple pie and sweet rolls is intentional.

What else is there, though? All the other recipes have a distinct lack of sweetener to them. Am I supposed to believe the Nords like their snowberries wrapped in buttermilk biscuits? Or that sweet rolls are topped with bland milk paste?

Okay, well, Rare Curios adds in marshmerrow to the khajiit caravans. Let's see what UESP says.

"The sweet pulp of marshmerrow reeds is a delectable foodstuff, and when eaten fresh or prepared, it has modest healing properties."

THERE we go. THAT'S our sugarcane.

So, in conclusion, Gale can put hundur sauce on a slaughterfish, IF he has access to:

Clams

Slaughterfish

Saltrice vinegar (from a khajiit caravan)

Marshmerrow (from a khajiit caravan; both sugar and molasses)

I'm saying the "hot" part of the sauce comes from garlic and/or a smidge of fire salt.

The group is GOING TO CELEBRATE MIRMULNIR'S DEATH with FRESH WATERDHAVIAN CUISINE if it's the LAST THING I DO.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Decided to finally write my fic idea that I posted a while ago :D

Summary: Texas has been working for too long and Oklahoma isnt happy about it. Texas gets a much much needed massage, they have a talk, tears are shed, cuddles ensue.

Random HC: Texas has piercings (navel, ear, nose, lip). Not as many as New York, NJ, or Louisiana though.

_________________________________________

Oklahoma stomped out to the barn with an exasperated look on his face. Texas has been working outside everyday from ungodly hours of the morning until they went to bed, and even then he wouldn't sleep. Oklahoma was upset about it, yes, but he was more worried than anything. The days were long, hot, and humid, and he knew that Texas didn't have that good of an immune system nor a clear knowing of when to take a break (so he didn't). Oklahoma barged into the barn.

"Texas!!!"

Texas's head shot up from where he was fixing Ranger's stable door. "Uh oh...", he whispered to himself. Welp. He had a good run.

"Yeah...? Whats up?"

Oklahoma scoffed. "You know whats up!"

Texas did know. But he would just play dumb. "Uhhh no...?" See, his tone was halfway convincing, but his nervous smile gave him away.

Oklahoma just stared at his boyfriend for a minute, looking him up and down. Texas's hair was a frizzy wreck, there was sweat dripping down his face and strong yet slender arms, and he had long abandoned his shirt, only wearing his binder now. Oklahoma couldnt help but blush at the sight of Texas's toned, scarred, freckled midriff. Huh when did Texas have a navel piercing....

Texas chuckles. "Like what ya see?~", he teased.

Yeah. Okay. He did. But given the circumstances, he wasnt all too happy. He sighed before walking over to the taller state and forcing him to his feet.

Texas let out an uncharacteristic squeak as he was pulled to his feet by rough yet gentle hands. He was about to say something, but then Oklahoma started dragging him towards the house by his arm. He felt a slight twinge of pain from his aching arm muscles, but said nothing and just allowed himself to be dragged.

Once they got inside the house, Texas was unceremoniously tossed onto the couch. He looked up at Oklahoma, who had his arms crossed and a mad....no, not mad.... disappointed look on his face. God Texas hated that look.....

"Well? Wanna explain yerself? It is 8pm! What time didja wake up and start workin'??" Oklahoma questioned.

Texas cleared his throat. "I-I-I know that yer mad bu-"

"Im not mad!!" Oklahoma snapped. He was about to shout again, but reconsidered after seeing the mild fearful look. Damn ol Texas for maming him so soft....He sighs. "Sorry I'm just.... I'm just worried alright?? Yer always overworkin' yerself and doing stuff for me and others. Ya work in the hot sun for hours on end without takin' more than five minutes to take a break. And when ya do take those five minute breaks, its just to consume more unhealthy amounts of caffeine! Ya never actually make time for yerself and yer health and ya cant tell me that its not worrying!"

Texas avoided eye contact for a minute before looking up at his boyfriend. He wanted to say something, but he couldnt. He stared down at his feet instead of just uselessly staring up at the Sooner State.

Oklahoma sits down next to Texas and pulls him into a hug. He gently rubs up and down the taller state's back and buries his face in his shoulders. Texas mentally cursed himself as tears welled up in his eyes.

"I-I-I'm sorry, mi amor.....", his voice shook with every word.

"Shhhh.....dont apologize...", Oklahoma whispered gently, his heart breaking. He pulled away slightly and saw the tears running down Texas's face. "Oh Tex....." He pulls Texas back into the hug.

Texas clung to Oklahoma as if he would disappear if he were to let go. He let the tears fall from his eyes, as he was no longer able to hold them back.

"Hey....", Oklahoma spoke gently. He tilted Texas's head up and gently held Texas's face in his hand and gently stroked his cheek. "I'm not mad....okay? Youre not in trouble. Not at all. Okay...?"

Texas nods his head yes, though it was clear that he was unsure.

"I would like to know why ya do this to yerself though.....Ya can tell me why, I won't be mad." Oklahoma gently ran his fingers through Texas's hair

Texas sighs before just getting to the point and he said the first thing that came to mind, "¿De qué sirvo si no trabajo....?" He felt the hand in his hair pause for a second.

It took Oklahoma a moment to translate his boyfriend's words to English. Once he did, his heart broke a little more. "Tex? Do ya really think that yer only purpose in life is to work and serve others...?" The only response he got was a strained shrug and a defeated sigh. Oklahoma sighed himself and just hugged Texas closer. "Please...Texas....You have much more purpose than just being a workhorse and a servant....and you're your own person with your own body and mind. Ya cant overwork yerself and overexert yer body like this. Please promise me you'll try to take more breaks and not work so much.....okay? I love ya so, so much, my star....."

Texas's eyes welled up with more tears and he pressed a soft wet kiss to Oklahoma's lips. Once he pulled away, he stared down at the Sooner State with nothing but pure love. "Te amo, mi corazon...." He rolled his shoulders back a bit and tried to stifle a wince at the pain that shot through his sore torso.

Oklahoma furrowed his brow in concern. "Jesus Christ- Are ya hurt??"

"No. M' just a lil sore....", was Texas's reply.

Oklahoma paused for a moment before speaking up, "Lay down on yer belly and lay yer head on yer arms." Texas was a little confused, but did as he was told.

Oklahoma began to gently massage Texas's back, starting at Texas's shoulder blades and gently digging his thumbs into the area. Texas groaned softly as the knots were tenderly messaged out of his shoulders.

"Where are ya most sore?"

"..lower and middle of my back..."

And so thats where Oklahoma moved his hands. Texas groaned and whimpered slightly as Oklahoma worked his magic. Oklahoma blushed at the sounds that escaped Texas's lips, and even more at the fact that he was the one causing the noises to happen. He leans down towards Texas's neck and planted a gentle kiss on the back of Texas's neck. He chuckles at the shiver that runs through Texas's body.

Oklahoma gently rubs up and down Texas's back once he massaged all the knots out. "Aight I got yer back. Where else are ya sore?"

Texas melted at the feeling on his back. "Y-Ya don't have t-"

"Answer the question, Texas."

".....arms an' hands...."

"Aight."

Texas was flipped over onto his back and Oklahoma gently took his arm and kneaded his thumbs into Texas's bicep. He worked his way down, eventually coming to Texas's hand. He dug his thumbs into the palm of Texas's hand, earning an embarrassing whimper from the Lone Star State. The Sooner State chuckles as a blush spreads across the taller state's face.

Once Oklahoma was done with helping Texas's sore torso, he cuddled him close and they both fell asleep, Texas lightly draped across Oklahoma and Oklahoma with his arms wrapped around Texas.

___________________________________________

Tags: @tigerdrachin @alaskashigh @misery-has-no-company-now (lmao Misery idk if you like TexaHoma, but theres angst soooo-)